This weekend wuz just awful, mrow! They put me, King Henry, all alone on the porch with no one to nurture me. My family left on vacation, my co-workers went home to their lives, hiss. I can't even has cheeseburger, for you lolcats out there. Well I was far from an lolcat! I was more like a *cries*cat (some internet jargon for you geeks out there).
It started Saturday. The wind was whipping across the barely covered porch windows, threatening to tear them into shreds. Then the rain came sweeping down like an avalanche. Whimper! I leaped across the floors, slipping and sliding in all my clumsy glory to take cover. There were wastebaskets being turned over, stuff rattling on the shelves! "MRUUUUUUU," I howled loudly.
Chunks of rain began spurting in through the windows; all I could do was duck my head and press my paws to my face in cover. I felt like no one loved me!
After all the rattle, the rain began to subtly die down. I felt safe enough to peek out from under the couch. In the distance I saw a figure- I was saved! Pat was here to check in on me! "Help me Pat! It was awful!! Everything was falling! No one was here to save me!" She held me until I stopped shivering. Phew!
Monday morning came and thankfully the terror had passed. I could see my co-workers come in. They scooped me up and put me in my rightful place on Ariella's desk, as assistant editor and Employee of the Month (but between you and me, it's employee of every month). I spent the day editing away as the girls cuddled and paid so much attention to me. That's how things should be!
So anyway, my family should come home tomorrow and I don't want them to think I've forgotten about their abandoning me. I'll give them a nasty glance, to let them know to prepare the cleaning supplies, because I'll be leaving a few of my passive-aggressive surprises all around. They'll know that next time they go to Disney World, they better bring me along! I'm man enough to go on all the big rides too!
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